


Clichés

by GarnetSeren



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Best Friends, Crew as Family, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Kaidan Friendly, Romantic Comedy, Shakarian Romance, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-24 17:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6161441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetSeren/pseuds/GarnetSeren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sparked by a combination of a conversation with a fellow writer and discovering an article titled: 15 Overused RomCom Clichés, this is a collection of fifteen oneshots that link together, to form the story of how one orphaned gang member from earth became the first human specter, before falling in love with everyone's favourite turian!</p><p>The clichés are:<br/>1. The Ugly Duckling Makeover Story<br/>2. Women Not Being Able to Juggle Love and Careers<br/>3. The Clumsy Leading Lady<br/>4. There’s Magic Involved (Biotics are basically magic!)<br/>5. There Will Be Single Friends Causing Trouble<br/>6. There Will Be Long Dramatic Lonely Moments<br/>7. Someone Being Tricked<br/>8. Romantic Kissing in the Rain<br/>9. She Works in Media<br/>10. Leaving it Up to Fate<br/>11. People Getting Left at the Altar<br/>12. Someone Gets Chased to the Airport<br/>13. It Was the Friend All Along<br/>14. The Hot Girl Falling For the Nice Guy<br/>15. She Wants to Start a Business…Which is a Bakery</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ugly Duckling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The Ugly Duckling Makeover Story

Butch. That had been her nickname, back when she'd run with the Tenth Street Reds. Not Little Janey as she'd always been know, but Butch.

When she'd finally ran away from the last of seven orphanages, she'd been a short, somewhat stocky fifteen year old, with unruly red hair and startling green eyes. Fast forward six months and she'd been a short, somewhat stocky sixteen year old, with close cropped hair and permanently skinned knuckles.

The change had come after one fateful meeting with Finch; the leader of the Reds, just four weeks after becoming a runaway. He'd thought her an easy mugging target, as she had made her way down one of London's dreary grey streets, grabbing her long ponytail in order to pull her down one of the side alleys in Whitechapel.

Naturally, she'd fought back, tooth and nail, even managing to beat Finch to the floor without the use of her emerging biotics. Whilst lying in the dirt, he'd actually laughed and offered her a position as the Reds' enforcer, as back up to his brother; Curt Wiesman.

The previous four weeks had taught her how dangerous life on the streets could be, so she'd readily agreed to join the gang. That same day, she'd sat patiently as Curt had her shave off the red locks. Afterwards, the face that looked back at her in the dirty chipped mirror, looked more male than female. Her physique didn't help matters much either, and within a matter of days, Butch had been born.

Fast forward two more years, and Butch knew her time with the Reds was over. For the years she'd been with them, the gang had been running small racketeering operations, and fenced stolen cars. Activities that were occasionally interspersed with the odd mugging, or shaking someone down for an unpaid debt.

It wasn't a great life, but it was okay. However, things changed when the Reds attacked a small group of turian soldiers, who were in London for... something. Despite the rest of the gang laying into the aliens with gusto, she'd hung back.

Later, Butch told Finch that she was acting as a look out, which he thankfully bought. But in fact, for the first time in two years, she couldn't stand the violence.

The turians' hadn't done anything to garner the Reds' wrath, and it had been thirteen years since the end of the First Contact War. The brutality was pointless, and after only a few minutes, she'd falsely yelled that the cops were on their way.

During the mad rush to get away, no one had noticed her run in the opposite direction... away from the gang's hideout, towards the nearest government building; Alliance European Head Quarters, as it turned out.

She'd wanted to notify the authorities of the attack, get the injured turians some help, but before even reaching the front desk, she literally bumped into the man who would change her life forever... David Anderson.

There must have been something he saw in her that day, because she soon found herself enlisted into the Alliance military.

Basic hadn't been as hard as she'd imagined, and the rations that other recruits complained about, had been far better than anything she could ever remember eating. She quickly reaped the benefits of her new lifestyle.

The constant exercise and decent nutrition soon morphed her body from simply short and stocky, to lean and lithe with moderate curves _finally_ in the right places... though she obviously never grew any taller. Butch was finally laid to rest, along side Little Janey, now she was just Jane. It might have been a plain name to be known by, but it was much better than it's predecessors.

However, she wasn't completely able to shake off her past. The brutality she'd learnt in the Reds, combined with her now honed biotics, meant she was 'strongly encourage' into Vanguard training.

Not long after graduating from the military academy, she found herself on Elysium, which was immediately followed by N training... thanks to a recommendation from Anderson.

Being inducted into the elite group of marines marked the death of another identity, plain Jane was gone, and as she emerged a triumphant N7, Shepard was born.


	2. Dear Jane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Women Not Being Able to Juggle Love and Careers

Shepard sat staring at her terminal monitor, as yet another 'Dear Jane' letter stared back.

Throughout her illustrious military career, duty had always come first, as it did with any good marine. However, she did try and make time for herself... and her love life, not that it had ever been a particularly exciting one.

There would certainly never be any salacious gossip column stories about it, that was for damn sure, and that was before the last nail in the coffin of yet another failed romance.

The saddest part was that she'd actually had hope for her latest relationship. Darrell O'Brien was a ruggedly good looking fellow marine of Irish decent, who could make her laugh and hadn't seemed intimidated by her service record. More fool her, Shepard supposed.

Pushing away from her desk, she shrugged off her oversized N7 hoodie, leaving her clad in only her sleep shorts and a plain tank top. Without preamble, Shepard flopped face first onto her bed, thankful that being the ship's XO granted her a tiny room of her own.

Darrell hadn't been the first guy to break things off with her, he wasn't even the first to finish things via email either.

At the beginning of her career, there'd been Omer Hass; a devastatingly handsome Turkish restaurant owner. They'd met when her class had gone for a graduation meal, and six months later he'd ended it with her first 'Dear Jane' email, right after Elysium. His reason was that her new found fame was too much for him to handle, despite the business it generated for the restaurant.

After Omer there'd been Raymon Gonzalez; a good looking shop owner, who's store in the Zakera Ward on the Citadel sold imports from Earth. Their relationship lasted nearly a year, before another 'Dear Jane' email arrive, sighting her busy training schedule with the N-programme as the reason it wasn't working.

Shepard hadn't bothered again with romance, not until after becoming one of the few N7 marines serving in the Alliance. She'd decided then that perhaps the problem had been dating guys who didn't have a military background.

Which was how Shepard had ended up agreeing to go on a date with Druslius Abiril. Dru had been a commander with the turian Blackwatch, with striking white markings adorning slate grey plates. He'd been charming and attentive, so much so that after several incredible dates, Shepard was fairly smitten... and it seemed Dru was too.

However, that had all came to an end when she was assigned to a mission in the Horse Head Nebula, whilst he was sent to the Kepler Verge. Since they had no idea when they'd be able to contact each other again, let alone meet up, they mutually decided to end things on amicable terms. They'd remained friends, which was a vast improvement from a 'Dear Jane' email, but it was still a kick in the teeth.

After that, Shepard had figured that maybe it was best to forget about relationships, deciding to try what many of her fellow squad mates did... one night stands.

So on her very next shore leave, Shepard went to Flux, in the hopes of finding a good looking guy to have a casual tumble in the sheets with. And oh boy... did she find him! Kuru Soet was a drell with the most dazzling golden scales. He was suave and witty, as well as one hell of a lover. Shepard hadn't even minded the twinkling lights she saw, each and every time she kissed him.

However the next morning when he revealed he was an assassin, who'd originally been approached by a batarian who wanted her dead, Shepard started to have second thoughts about the whole one night stand thing.

Thankfully, Kuru had turned his would be employer down, since her actions on Elysium had apparently saved a cousin of his. Still... Shepard wasn't inclined to try the casual hook up again. Truthfully, she was ready to give up on her love life all together, before she met Darrell... and now that had gone the way of the others.

With a weary sigh, Shepard turned onto her back and flipped open her Omni-Tool. What she needed right now was a stiff drink, and hoped Ash would be willing companion... she usually was.


	3. Dancing Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The Clumsy Leading Lady

“I have to say Ash, you're braver than me,” Joker laughed.

Shepard glared at the pilot, even as she slid out of the booth after the gunnery chief. Her assignment to the Normandy hadn't been her first encounter with the wise cracker, in fact, she'd known Jeff Moreau for a number of years.

A lot of the training for the N-programme had been held on Arcturus Station, where Joker had been a shuttle pilot at the time. He was well known to the marines there, but had never wanted to socialise with them... or so Shepard had been told. She'd seen straight through her fellow trainees' bullshit; they just didn't know how to handle 'the cripple'.

Ignoring their protests and insistence that Joker wouldn't join them, she'd marched up to the sarcastic pilot her first night on the station, and invited him for a drink. Stating she wouldn't take no for an answer, and would carry him to the bar if need be... they'd been fast friends ever since.

“Shut it, smart mouth. I can dance better than you,” Shepard retorted.

Joker snorted, holding up his crutches. “That's not hard, Shep.”

It was familiar banter between the pair, and had been ever since Arcturus, where Shepard's dancing had become infamous. It was almost a scripted routine between them, and following their usual pattern, Shepard retaliated in a sophisticated and mature way... pulling tongues at him, before winking. As she went to walk away with Ash, she heard Kaidan mutter:

“How do you get away with it?”

Ashley chuckled. “Is your dancing really that bad, Skipper?”

Unable to stop the smirk that tugged on her lips, Shepard regarded the chief with something close to pity. Even though she _had_ warned the other woman countless times that she couldn't dance, Ash had still begged her to get up on the floor with her, so really it was her own fault... the chief would learn soon enough, just as the rest of her friends had.

“Anderson is the only person who has even been charitable about my dancing, and he described it like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time,” Shepard grinned.

It took a whole second before the gunnery chief burst out laughing, whilst they both draped their jackets over the rail that lined the dance floor.

As they stepped onto the illuminated floor, Shepard gave Ashley one last chance to change her mind, a warning that was met by more laughter. The chief grabbed her hand and pulled her into the centre of the crowd, effectively cutting off Shepard's escape.

On their way, they passed a group of turians, one of which caught her eye immediately. He was tall, even for a member of their race, with silver grey plates and vivid cobalt markings. He was rather attractive, but that wasn't what caught Shepard's eye, it was his dancing that got her attention. He was shuffling awkwardly from side to side, no more than one step from left to right, if he was human, Shepard would have called it 'dad dancing'.

He must have sensed her gaze, for his icy blue eyes snapped up to hers, and his mandibles flared into a turian grin as he watched her own attempt at dancing. Not caring what he thought, Shepard smiled and shrugged, before turning her attention back to a laughing Ash.


	4. It's a Kind of Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- There’s Magic Involved

A few weeks ago, if anyone had told Shepard that the turian who had laughed at her in Flux, would be the team mate that usually had her six, she'd would have doubted their sanity.

As it was, Garrus Vakarian was indeed the crew member who watched her back on ground missions. So much so, that the turian was also the hapless squad mate who was currently trapped in a cramped, dingy cave with her.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stave off her growing headache. She couldn't believe how they'd ended up in this situation, with her sat on Vakarian's lap, whilst waiting for rescue. Never in her wildest dreams had Shepard thought a biotic Throw could backfire so spectacularly.

Then again, she supposed something was bound to happen, when four biotics all had the same idea at the same time. The resulting collapse had certainly finished off their enemies, but it had also trapped her and Vakarian behind several feet of rock, cutting them off from the rest of the team and injuring them in the process.

Shepard shook her head ruefully, trying not to huff out a laugh, in case it further aggravated her damaged ribs.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” Vakarian drawled.

Shepard blinked at the turian in surprise, her eyes drawn to the way his mandibles flared in a lopsided grin. She hadn't know he'd possessed such a dry sense of humour, and immediately felt ashamed of the realisation, since it obviously meant she wasn't spending enough time with him.

Granted, he was new on the team, but that was no excuse. She needed to make more of an effort, and no time seemed better than the present. Especially since their rescue would likely take a number of hours, at least according to Tali and Ashley's estimations; as it was left up to the pair to devise some sort of plan, since Kaidan, Wrex and Liara were all too exhausted to do much of anything.

A result of the three of them trying to biotically lift the rocks that formed Shepard and Vakarian's impromptu prison. Their attempts had been massive failures, resulting in more injuries than the original cave-in had caused.

The last attempted had created another rock slide, which Vakarian had somehow managed to drag Shepard out of the way of. However, they'd landed awkwardly, with the turian half sprawled on top of her, when his right leg had been trapped under some of the debris. So now Shepard sat nursing at least a half dozen broken ribs, whilst Vakarian was trying not to move a severely damaged ankle.  
  
“Just thinking what a right pair we make,” Shepard smiled. “How's the leg?”

“Been better, but I'll live,” he replied. “Are your ribs alright?”

As he spoke, Vakarian very gingerly touched her right side, his mandibles pulled tight to his face as he regarded the gash in Shepard's under suit, which revealed a large amount of skin that was already beginning to mottle with bruises.

The chest piece of her armour had long since been, since being used as a make shift crash mat for the turian had left the metal shell badly dented, and pressing uncomfortable into Shepard's already battered rib cage. She could have sworn she'd heard Vakarian trill like a distressed bird when he had noticed the damage, but the sudden rush of medi-gel had made recollection a little hazy.

Still, Shepard remembered how gentle the turian had been, as he helped her out of her armour, and even recalled how his hands had shook, when he unfastened the clasps she couldn't reach.

Truthfully, Shepard hadn't realised what a sweet and sensitive guy Vakarian was until this incident... and if she had to get trapped with anyone, Shepard was actually really glad it was him.


	5. With Friends Like These

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- There Will Be Single Friends Causing Trouble

“I guess we have some down time, to figure out what we are.”

Shepard's heart beat frantically in her chest, as Kaidan offered her a hand up from her spot on the floor. She supposed it was hardly surprising that the lieutenant had come looking for her, since the council had grounded them, effectively impounding the Normandy.

Though it was embarrassing that he found her so close to tears, as she slumped against her locker. Kaidan always held her in such high regard, that Shepard often felt like she was placed on some sort of pedestal, despite the numerous times they'd flirted.

However, as he hauled her to her feet, she was surprised when he suddenly gave her hand a tug. Shepard found herself pulled flush against Kaidan's chiselled body, and the muscles of his chest were a solid mass underneath her hands, and unable to help herself, Shepard looked up at his handsome face from beneath her lashes.

She smiled coyly, as he placed a hand under her chin, gently tilting her face up. His warm brown eyes searched her green ones in earnest, and after a moment's pause, he began to close the distance between them...

“Sorry to interrupt, commander,” Joker's voice called over the comm. “But I need to see you, in the cockpit. It's urgent.”

Biting back a sigh, she gave Kaidan an apologetic smile before pulling away from him. Determined not to give a backward glance, because she refused to be _that_ type of woman, Shepard sauntered out of the Mess and jogged up the stairs to the Command Deck.

When she reached the cockpit, she was shocked to not only find the pilot waiting for her, but Wrex and Garrus as well. Shepard slowed her pace as she approached the trio, immediately suspicious. Joker was sitting in his chair, looking like some sort of villain from those damn Blasto movies he loved so much, with Wrex stood to his right, like some beady eyed henchman... all he needed was a pet pyjack to complete the look.

Garrus on the other hand, was sat in the co-pilot's chair to Joker's left, and the turian was pointedly looking _anywhere_ but her. Which led Shepard to believe that whatever was going on, he had tried to talk the other two out of it, obviously failing, otherwise she wouldn't be there. She gave a frustrated sighed, fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose, and cocked her hip to the side instead.

“Alright... what's going on?”

“Kaidan... really, Shep? Kaidan?!” Joker asked, incredulous.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, silently daring him to continue.

“He's got a point, Shepard. That pyjack isn't worth your time,” Wrex added.

This time she did pinch the bridge of her nose. She might have loved her friends like family, but they were brash, nosy, and down right assholes... so of course they were meddling in her love life.

It didn't matter that said love life was practically non-existent, they still had to mess with it. Though it may have been a little unfair, Shepard rounded on Garrus, but before she could demand he spit out what he had to say, the turian held up his hands in the universally placating gesture.

“I told them not to interfere,” he said, sounding surprisingly dejected. “It's your decision, Shepard.”


	6. Only the Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- There Will Be Long Dramatic Lonely Moments

Shepard was inordinately pleased that she'd managed to hold it together... well, at least for as long as she had. All through the shock of seeing Kaidan on Horizon, through the tirade and detritus he'd spewed at her, along with the accusations and doubt.

She'd kept her cool as she watched him turn his back on her, even managed to wish him luck, before calling Joker for extraction. She'd held it together throughout the shuttle ride back to the Normandy, despite Garrus' concerned looks, and Jack's surprisingly understanding glances.

She'd even managed to avoid cracking when Kelly had tried to ask how she was, and when Miranda had unexpectedly stated their debrief could wait until tomorrow. Her fixed smile had barely wavered when Gardener offered her a tub of chocolate ice cream, though a slight crack in her facade happened once Chakwas pressed what remained of the Serrice Ice Brandy into her hand.

But thankfully Shepard was on route to her cabin by that point, and she was quickly able to lock herself away in private. With only booze, frozen junk food, and her fish for company.

Once in the solitude of her quarters, Shepard had calmly set the brandy and ice cream on her desk, before snatching up the holo of Kaidan. No... of Alenko.

In a sudden surge of anger, she hurled the frame across her cabin, smiling darkly when it landed with a loud crack. It was surprisingly satisfying seeing the holoframe devoid of Alenko's image, a large fracture across the screen, heralding the end of it's life.

However, she did feel guilty for startling her fish, and punched the tank's food dispenser twice as way of apology. Sighing dejectedly, Shepard exchanged her uniform for a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized hoodie, one that she'd swiped off Joker years ago.

After collecting the brandy and ice cream, she padded barefoot over to her large double bed. Without ceremony, she flopped down onto it before burrowing under the duvet. Deciding that junk food was currently more of a priority than getting drunk, Shepard set the brandy on her night stand, then broke the seal on the ice cream tub.

Despite her best efforts, she felt tears begin to prick her eyes, as she keyed up Fleet and Flotilla to play on her Omni-Tool. She _really_ wished Tali and Liara were with her. She really wished _Ashley_ was with her...

There was an unexpected chime from her door, which had Shepard pulling her duvet more tightly around herself. She didn't want anyone on board to see her with a tear stained face, especially because of yet another failed romance.

The buzzer rang twice more before it fell blessedly silent, and Shepard hoped that whoever it was, had finally got the message she wanted to be left alone. However, that wasn't the case. Less than a minute later, a distinctly turian figure stood in the now open door way. Shepard was astounded.

“What the hell, Vakarian!” she shouted. “You just hacked my lock!”

Giving credit where credit was due, Garrus did look suitably sheepish. However, that didn't stop him from fully entering her room, and crossing the distance between them. Sitting up in bed, Shepard sat her half eaten tub of ice cream next to the brandy.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, as she watched her friend dither at the foot of her bed. Rolling her eyes... since he'd already invaded her room... Shepard pulled back the duvet and patted the mattress in invitation. Giving a nervous chuckle, Garrus complied before gingerly wrapping an arm loosely around her shoulders.

“Are you okay?” he asked, gently.

Sighing, Shepard snuggled closer to his welcoming warmth. “I will be.”


	7. She's All That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Someone Being Tricked

As much as she liked the dress Kasumi had acquired for her, Shepard hadn't really seen herself wearing it again after Hock's Party.

Then again, she hadn't really envisioned doing another infiltration mission that required wearing a sexy dress either. Nor had she expected that Liara's first act as Shadow Broker, would be to ask her to do aforementioned mission... but there you go.

Regardless, Shepard found herself encased in skin-tight black leather once again, hoping this mission wouldn't end like the last one, as the sound of her high-heeled shoes rang across the CIC as she walked.

The last thing Shepard wanted was to encounter was another gunship, especially with Garrus by her side. She would never doubt the turian's skill or ability, but the memory of him taking a rocket to the face back on Omega was still too raw for her liking.

Speaking of the sniper, Shepard found him waiting for her in the airlock, leaning nonchalantly against the bulkhead with his eyes closed.

Shepard couldn't help but smile when she saw her friend. He was dressed in a finely tailored black suit with white detailing, which made her wonder if it was the turian equivalent of a tuxedo.

He looked surprisingly dashing, even with the extensive damage to the right side of his face. The pressure bandaged looked slightly out of place, but then again, so did his visor. Shepard chuckled when she noticed it, though wasn't at all surprised to see Garrus still wearing it... she would actually put money on him wearing it to bed, if she were perfectly honest.

At the sound of her laugh, the turian opened his eyes and flicked his left mandible in greeting. His gaze roamed indiscreetly over her body, which sent a jolt of unexpected heat through Shepard's veins, baffling her completely.

Garrus was her friend, her _best_ friend, as well as her unofficial XO. It was the reason Shepard had approached him for help on this mission, though still felt slightly odd explaining Liara's idea for a cover story.

He'd given her an intense but unreadable look, before laughing and agreeing to have her six... even if that meant pretending they were bond mates from Oma Ker; codename Mr and Mrs Adepsis.

“Looking good, Shepard,” he drawled.

A smirk formed on her lips, and she raised an eyebrow as she watched Garrus push away from the wall. He moved with a grace that was indicative of the turian race, stealthy and agile, like the apex predators they were.

Feeling a little devil may care, Shepard decided to give him a blatant up and down, appraising Garrus in the same obvious way he had done to her. She had meant it as a joke, but she did find his tapered waist quite pleasing, along with his sweeping cowl and fridge.

Her gaze lingered on the right side of his face, and Shepard was shocked to discover that she did in fact find the scars sexy. Which was just... weird. This was Garrus after all.

“I did the best I could, without a carapace or a crest,” she teased, winking.

“Your best has my mandible on the floor. Damn!”

Shepard was a little taken a back. His words seemed a little too... honest. “You always such a sweet talker, Vakarian?” she baited.

“Can't a turian compliment his wife?” he laughed, a little nervously. “We are going to get some looks, though the ones directed at me will say: How did a turian like him, get a woman like that.”

Her heart clenched unexpectedly, even as she gave him a customary smirk. “Maybe I'm one of the women who find facial scars attractive.”


	8. Kiss the Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Romantic Kissing in the Rain

Thane had once told her that it always rained on Kahje, and to Shepard, it seemed the same could be true for Earth. The last time she'd been on her home world was when she graduated from the military academy, it had poured down throughout the passing out parade, and the deluge had continued for a solid week.

It was still drizzling the day she shipped out on her first assignment, and it was raining now she was back. The weather never changed.

She'd stopped Saren, stopped the collectors... though she'd only delayed the reapers, and that was the whole screwed up reason why she was actually back on Earth, after swearing never to return.

She'd come to hand herself in, because of a mission gone so FUBAR, it didn't even resemble the original brief. In a fit of anger, Shepard punched the wall of the airlock, her cybernetics allowing her to leave an impressive dent in the bulkhead.

Vaguely, she wondered if she should apologise to EDI, but settled for sighing dejectedly instead. Her team, her _friends_ , were gone. Zaeed and Jack had been dropped off on Omega, Kasumi and Samara had departed on Illium, whilst Grunt had gone to Tuchanka.

The rest disembarked on the Citadel, the Cerberus crew mostly going into hiding, whilst Thane visited Kolyat and Tali arranged a rendezvous with the Migrant Fleet.

Garrus and Mordin wanted to try and set up meetings with their respective councillors, before heading for their home worlds, hoping to prepare their people for the reapers.

The only ones that were still with her were Joker and Chakwas, and thankfully Anderson and Hackett had promised that no repercussions would befall them.

Shepard already missed all of her crew, even though it had only been a matter of days since she had seen the last of them. Though she missed none so keenly as Garrus, sorely missing the turian's wise cracking comments and witty one liners.

He really was her best friend, and she missed him like she would miss a limb, no one knew her as well as he did. He'd even appeared at her cabin's door the night before the Omega Four Relay, with an awful duel chivalry wine in hand, and an offer of the latest Blasto movie, followed by a few rounds of Skyllian Five.

It was true that Garrus had been uncharacteristically jumpy, especially once he'd realised she'd been wearing nothing but a towel when he'd first entered her quarters. But Shepard simply put that down to stress and nerves, thanks to their impending suicide run.

Honestly, she doubted she'd have gotten through that night if Garrus hadn't come to keep her company. Though that was then, this was now, and Shepard knew she had to face the music alone. Not even knowing if she'd ever see or hear from her best friend again.

Knots had begun to twist in her stomach as the airlock's door slid open with a hydraulic hiss. Squaring her shoulders, Shepard started walking down the gangway, thankful that _somehow_ Hackett had arranged for her to discretely arrive at Alliance Head Quarters.

The thought that an armed guard could have come to escort her, treating her with the same disdain and distrust that Kaidan had on Horizon, was unbearable. Shepard stifled an uncharacteristic sob.

Closing her eyes, she tilted her head up towards the cloudy grey sky, letting the rain beat down heavily on her face, disguising the unwanted tears. The whole situation was completely SNAFU.

Opening her eyes, intent on continuing on her lonely march, Shepard was stopped in her tracks by the sight that greeted her.

There was Garrus. Looking drenched and bedraggled... not that she had ever imagined that a turian _could_ look bedraggled, but there you go. He closed the distance between them in a few long strides, and before she knew it, her best friend was towering over her once again.

Too stunned for words, Shepard gently reached up to cup his scarred mandible, unsure what the hell she was doing. Then to her surprise, Garrus pressed his forehead to hers as the rain continued to soak them both. She was still at a complete loss for words, but as usual, the turian had her back.

“No Shepard without Vakarian,” he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.


	9. Whatever Lola Wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- She Works in Media

Shepard bit back an angry sigh, as she once again read over the datapad containing Anderson's debrief. Without ceremony, she flopped back onto her leather couch, making James laugh loudly. Half-heartedly, she threw a cushion at the behemoth's head.

No matter how many times Vega thoroughly annoyed her, Shepard could admit the former councillor had done good when he appointed James as her 'guard'.

She'd been furious when Hackett had first informed her of the development, but that had soon withered away when she'd met the hulking lieutenant... _and_ seen the spacious apartment they'd been given.

It seemed that this forced grounding wouldn't be too bad, especially when it had been explained that her 'imprisonment' was merely a cover, and what the Alliance brass intended was for her to start preparing the troops. However, as relieved as Shepard was by that news, she was less than impressed with certain 'duties', that Anderson was throwing her way. Namely... dealing with the press.

Sure, Shepard knew she could be diplomatic and polite. Hell, she was most of the time. But there was just something about reporters that made her a little renegade, and she couldn't help but think that this _was_ her punishment.

“What's Anderson got you doing now?” James grinned.

“Shut it, Vega!” she groused.

Seriously, Shepard could throttle the marine at times. Though right now, it would be a little unfair. After all, he wasn't responsible for the crappy schedule she'd just been handed. Not one, not two, not even three press conferences in a day, but four. Four press conferences and three interviews to be exact.

Obviously, universal karma did exist and was biting her in the ass... and she'd only punching that bloody al-Jilani once. It wasn't like the damn woman hadn't deserved it either, and Shepard wasn't the only one who thought so, since al-Jilani had also been head-butted by a krogan and kicked by a volus, which was only what was caught on camera.

At the time, Anderson had been less than impressed with her conduct, and Shepard was certain this was her former mentor's version of payback. He was certainly devious enough to pull it off, that was for sure.

“Don't sweat it, Lola.”

Shepard had been so busy grumbling to herself, she hadn't even realised James had left the sofa, until he tossed her a cold beer. There were many perks to having Vega as a flatmate, and a near constant supply of her favourite drink was one of them.

The other two major bonus was a dedicated gym buddy, the likes of which Shepard hadn't experienced since N-training, and the fact that James must have been a chef in a previous life.

Those facts balanced out each other nicely, mostly because if Shepard didn't exercise as much as she did, she'd be rolling to the dreaded meetings that were waiting for her in the morning. Sighing, she uncapped the beer bottle using her teeth, making James wince as he watched her.

“You know I hate playing spokeswoman,” she complained.

“Let's make a deal,” he suggested, grinning. “If you can make it through the whole day without head-butting anyone, I'll make quesadillas for dinner.”

“If I offer to bring the tequila, will you cook anyway?” Shepard bargained.

James laughed, deep and rich. “Sure. Whatever you want, Lola.”


	10. Written in the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Leaving it Up to Fate

Despite it all... the reaper invasion of Earth, of Palaven, leaving Anderson behind and Kaidan getting hurt... Shepard couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped her, the moment Garrus informed her that he was hard to kill.

The surface of Menae had been a pockmarked war zone, with Palaven burning above them, and Earth burning beyond that. But somehow, things had looked a little bit brighter as soon as Garrus had flared his mandibles into a wide turian grin.

During her stint at Alliance Head Quarters, Shepard had barely been able to contact anyone off world. Mostly because no one had valid extranet addresses, once they'd give their fairly obvious resignation to the Illusive Man.

There'd been one from Thane, now under the alias of Tanner Nuara, as well as one from Kasumi and one from Liara... but never anything from Garrus, and Shepard had missed her best friend terribly.

She'd felt oddly adrift without him by her side, and when the reapers had come, she'd silently hoped that his spirits really did exist... at least then there'd be a chance that something was looking out for him, when she couldn't.

If anyone were ever to ask, Shepard would admit she didn't believe in destiny, because if she did, the Sisters of Fate would have some serious explaining to do. But still, when she'd been reunited with Garrus back on Menae, it just felt... _right_.

A feeling that went right down to the core of her being, a felling that she only ever got around her best friend. And even now, when both of their worlds were set alight, Shepard couldn't help the lightness she felt in her chest, knowing that the turian had taken residence in the Forward Battery once again.

Not even knowing that Kaidan was still critical in Huerta could dampen her spirits... at least for the moment. She was just that happy to have Garrus back on her team, where he belonged. They were partners, and Shepard made sure everyone on board the Normandy knew that, by appointing the turian as her offical XO.

Primarch Victus had seemed surprised by her announcement, but not displeased, no one else had. And once the pleasantries with the turian leader had concluded, Shepard immediately went to see Garrus.

“No Shepard without Vakarian, huh?” she quipped.

“And no Vakarian without Shepard.”

True to form, Garrus had been bent over the main gun's console when she entered, but at the sound of her greeting, he'd turned to face her. Shepard shook her head, seeing that he was still wearing his battle worn armour, and he flicked a mandible in a half smile as acknowledgement.

Her own smile widened as she noticed that the right side of his face had a lot more movement, it was an incredible relief, and without thinking, she crossed the distance between them and cupped his mandible in her hand. Surprise flashed through his icy blue eyes, and he visibly hesitated, before tentatively pressing his forehead to hers.

“I heard about Kaidan,” he said, quietly. “I'm sure he will pull through.”

Shepard swallowed passed the lump in her throat. “Thanks, big guy. I'm just glad you're here.”

Garrus' talon gently wiped away a tear from her cheek. “No where I'd rather be, Jane.”


	11. White Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- People Getting Left at the Altar

Shepard still couldn't believe it. After everything, _everything_ that had happened, they'd won. Even more surprising was that she'd not only survived, but had come out relatively unscathed... at least when you considered that she had been _on_ the Citadel, when it had crashed to Earth.

Sure she now had a prosthetic right leg and was partially blind in her left eye, but her beloved mentor; Anderson, was dead... having stepped in front of the Illusive Man's gun, stopping a bullet that was meant for her. Shepard swallowed thickly at the memory.

Today was supposed to be a happy day, supposedly the happiest day of her life, though clearly whoever had decided that, had never fought and won an intergalactic war against a race a sentient machines... but never mind.

Regardless of her own skewed perceptions, Shepard still knew that she was supposed to be happy on her wedding day. But the simple fact was, she wasn't. And it wasn't just Anderson's, Thane's, Mordin's and Legion's abscesses that made her feel that way.

Despite all the doubt, accusations and resentment, Shepard had once again ended up in Kaidan's arms the night before the final assault. At the time, she figured she wouldn't live through the coming battle, so it didn't really matter that she had one last fling with her former lieutenant.

However, she'd somehow miraculously survived the final encounter with Harbinger, as well as bested that damnable star child. The sentient hologram had promised her demise if she chose to destroy the reapers, yet here she was, getting ready to walk down the aisle.

A wave a nausea washed over her at the thought, and Shepard couldn't help but wondering what the hell she was doing there, dressed in a floor length white gown. Sure, Kaidan had been at her beside once she'd woken up, and had apparently been there as soon as the Normandy had made it back to Earth.

Through the many months of Shepard's convalescing, the major had stated that he still loved her, before asking her to marry him. He'd done it in front of all their gathered friends, and Shepard had been too shocked to do anything but numbly nod her agreement.

However, even as Kaidan had picked her up in a jubilant embrace, she hadn't missed the dejected look on one of their friend's faces... someone who'd been by her side through thick and thin, and meant the galaxy to her.

There was a tentative knock on the hotel room's door, which pulled Shepard from her thoughts, before Tali and Liara walked in. Both looked uncharacteristically worried, the quarian wringing her hands nervously, and the asari barely meeting Shepard's eyes.

She frowned in confusion, her friends looked about as flustered as she felt. Vaguely, she wondered if they were bringing bad news... perhaps Kaidan had changed his mind, perhaps there was no longer going to be a wedding.

Oddly enough, Shepard didn't think that _would_ be such a bad thing. However, before either of them could speak, Wrex barrelled into the room. Jack, Kasumi and surprisingly Miranda, followed close behind.

“You've got to stop this crap, Shepard!” the krogan boomed.

Scowling, she opened her mouth to shout at the warlord, only to have Jack cut across her.

“Listen, queen of the girl scouts, your turian is about to fly the coup. For good. So get your head out of your fucking arse, and go get him.”

Unexpected panic gripped Shepard. “Where is he?”

Miranda, of all people, gave her a knowing look. “He's on his way to the space port.”

“Don't worry, Shep. Joker's waiting with a shuttle,” Kasumi winked.


	12. The Final Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Someone Gets Chased to the Airport

How could she have been so stupid? How?!

Genuine, stomach roiling fear had a strangle hold on Shepard, and she just couldn't shake it. How could she have not seen this sooner. The moment Jack had told her Garrus was leaving Earth, Shepard _knew_ the sense of dread she felt had nothing to do with friendship.

The knowing and sympathetic looks their friends had given her, lead Shepard to believe she was the last one to know how she felt about Garrus... never mind how he felt about her. Mentally she kicked herself, completely amazed at her own stupidity.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Shepard knew what she'd just done to Kaidan was cruel and selfish, but another larger part of her, simply couldn't muster the will to care.

He'd always questioned and doubted her, even when she'd woken up in hospital, the major had asked her if she had done the right thing; opting to destroy the reapers, instead of controlling or synthesising with them.

However, there'd been another person in the room with them that day. Someone who had never left her side, who had willing walked into hell on her six, no less than three times. Someone who'd simply trilled his happiness that she had finally woken up, as he gently pressed his forehead to hers... How could she have been so blind?!

“Better hurry, Shepard. His shuttle is due to depart in ten minutes,” Joker advised.

Not giving it a second thought, she drew her Omni-Blade and slashed her floor length dress. The fine silk tore easily, leaving her legs exposed from below the knees... one human and scarred, the other shiny and synthetic. Shepard followed up by kicking off her satin kitten heels, knowing she'd have better chance at catching the turian if she ran barefoot.

Taking a shuddering breath to try and calm herself, Shepard rose from her seat, before jumping from the shuttle's hatch the moment Joker opened it.

As she dropped, she activated the tactical cloak that Kasumi had leant her, hoping she'd manage to avoid being stopped by the crowd... because even though nearly a year had passed since the end of the reaper war, everyone still wanted a piece of the galaxy's saviour.

Glancing round, Shepard frantically searched through the bustling crowd, her hope fading with every passing second. Then suddenly, she caught the flash of familiar blue armour out of the corner of her eye. Almost on instinct, Shepard dashed forward, shouldering her way through the surge of people, leaving many a dazed victim looking around in shock.

Thanks to her camouflage, she quickly closed the distance between herself and her target.

Several times, Garrus' back was in tantalising reach, but each time her fingers merely grazed his armour before another passer-by got in her way. Then, the unthinkable happened. Just as her hand was about to close around the turian's bicep, her tactical cloak short-circuited.

All at once, an all mighty clamour erupted from the crowd. The news of her wedding to Kaidan and been galactic tabloid gold, so everyone was demanding to know what she was doing there... shouting questions, snapping holos, or asking for autographs. However, in the middle of the hubbub, one figure turned and finally looked her in the eye.

Garrus' mandibles flared in surprise, and his icy blue eyes widened in shock. For one dreadful moment, Shepard feared he would simply turn and walk away, finally having enough of waiting for her. Though thankfully, the turian started pushing through the crowd towards her, he stopped just within arms reach, taking in her ruined dress and bare feet.

“Shepard, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting married?” he asked, quietly.

Without thinking, she raised on her toes, to press her forehead to his. “It should have been you.”


	13. The One and Only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- It Was the Friend All Along

It seemed like another life time ago, when Shepard had chased Garrus to the space port, halting his departure.

The truth was, it was less than a hour ago. Despite her rather public... and very photographed... display of affection, both had agreed that any discussion they had, needed to be done in private, and since it was a talk that was long over due, Shepard was thankful that the Normandy was docked close by.

She was also eternally grateful that Joker had been mercifully quiet, as he piloted the shuttle back to the ship. So now her and Garrus were stood in the silence of her cabin, his duffel bag thrown by the desk, along with Shepard's long discarded shoes.

He stood facing the large fish tank, watching the miraculously thriving aquatic life swim merrily about. Shepard took a moment to simply appraise the turian in front of her. She wasn't sure when it had happened, but there was no denying that she found Garrus extremely attractive.

His broad shoulders, strong thighs and towering height, were attributes Shepard could appreciate in any race. However the sweeping cowl, tapered waist and the elegant fringe that she admired, were distinctly turian. Then again, the slowly healing scars and piercing ice blue eyes were solely Garrus... and she loved those features the most.

Love. That was a strong, astonishing, and down right scary word. But really, there was no other Shepard could think of to describe how she felt about Garrus. It was love. Pure, unadulterated, unquestionable love. And to think, she'd nearly missed all the signs, and married Kaidan.

Bile threatened to rise in her throat at the thought of the major. She doubted she'd ever be able to put right the hurt she'd surely caused, but right now, this wasn't about her fellow biotic. It was about the turian sniper who had always been by her side, and who she'd almost been stupid enough to lose... the repercussions of running away from her own wedding would just have to wait.

So steeling herself with a shaky breath, Shepard crossed the distance, and went to stand by Garrus' side. The tension between them was almost palpable, but gingerly, she lace her hand with his three talons. His mandibles fluttered slightly as he turned to face her.

“So you really do have a thing for men with scars,” he drawled.

Even though Shepard knew his humour was just a cover for his nerves, she couldn't help but chuckle. And just like that, the tension between them disappeared. His rich laughter soon joined hers, and before they knew it, they were both leaning against the fish tank fighting for breath.

“Wrex always did say I should have been born krogan,” she grinned.

“That he did,” Garrus agreed, before becoming serious again. “Shepard, are you sure this is what you want? You know Kaidan is a much better match for you. You're both spectres, both successful... both human. And I'm just...”

Unable to bare hearing Garrus put himself down, Shepard cut him off, by pressed her lips tentatively to his mouth plates. She felt him still under her touch, so she shifted to pressed her forehead to his, in a gesture that was much more familiar to him. Ever so gently, she felt him lightly caress her back, before his large hands settled on her hips.

“I was an idiot,” Shepard whispered, smiling. “It's always been you.”


	14. Making Amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The Hot Girl Falling For the Nice Guy

They lay together basking in the after glow. It had been one hell of a night, and after a long heart to heart, the 'getting together' had begun in earnest. It had started innocently enough, with Garrus wanting her to explain and then demonstrate how kissing worked, which Shepard had readily obliged.

What started out as a gentle press of lips to mouth plates had quickly turned heated. After all, the turian was a quick study, and the tension between them was years in the making. During the course of the night, they had thoroughly christened several surfaces in her cabin.

Most notably the couch, her desk, the wall of the shower, and finally her oversized bed... where things had ended a little wild, and left Shepard wondering if there was such a thing as turian proof sheets.

Sighing contently, she stretched languidly, before snuggling in closer to Garrus. He was remarkably warm, something she was still coming to terms with, though Shepard idly thought she'd never need pyjamas again. Her turian was like a furnace!

A happy rumble escaped Garrus, something akin to the sound of a wild cat purring. It was damn adorable. However, when Shepard had informed her lover of that fact, she'd been met by a scowl that was promptly followed by a bout of merciless tickling. Because yes... Commander Shepard, scourge to reapers, Cerberus and other ne'er-do-wells, was really bloody ticklish.

Eventually, Garrus thankfully settled for running blunt talons lightly over the curve of her hip, whilst he nuzzled to top of her head. Humming her approval, Shepard was idly glad she'd kept her hair cropped short, other than growing it out like Kaidan had wanted. Otherwise, she suspected that Garrus' mandibles would have been tangled in her red locks by now.

Vaguely, she realised her turian was tracing a silver scar along her side. The visible reminded of where a piece of Citadel had to be removed from her unconscious body. Stupidly, Shepard found herself tensing.

“You're beautiful, you know,” Garrus mumbled, sleepily. “Don't know what you're doing with a turian like me, though.”

“A turian like you?” she queried.

“I'm nothing special,” he stated quietly. “You could have anyone...”

Frowning, Shepard mulled over his words for a moment, before deciding on a plan of action.

It took some effort to motivate her body to move from it's comfortable spot, but soon Shepard was propped up on an elbow. She'd shifted positions just in time to see Garrus run a talon over his healing scars, his mandibles fluttering slight as he did.

All at once, their conversation after he'd woken up from his surgery came flooding back. Her teasing remarks now seemed incredibly cruel, and Shepard would have given almost anything to be able to take them back. However, time travel was a science that had even trounced Mordin's great mind, so Shepard had to settle on making it up to Garrus in the present.

She shuffled closer, running her hand from his tapered waist, up his keel and cowl, to gently cup his face. Lightly, she stroked the ragged skin of his scar, before leaning up over Garrus' broad chest, in order to kiss his mandible.

“Nothing special?! Garrus Vakarian, you are sweet, loyal, brave, funny, and intelligent... even if you are a little too obsessed with calibrations,” she smiled. “From the moment you joined my crew, I realised you were probably the nicest guy I'd ever met. You didn't once judge or discredit me when I turned up on Omega, Cerberus in tow no less, And when we met up on Menae, you didn't hesitate to join me once again.”

Shepard paused as she repositioned herself, so she could look directly into his eyes.

“Besides, as you've said before, no one else is as stylish as you are.


	15. Domestic Goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- She Wants to Start a Business…Which is a Bakery

Admiral Jane Shepard, it had a nice ring to it, as did Councillor Shepard. However, that was one promotion that she had no intention of taking, which she let the galaxy know in the most public way possible, by official retiring from the Alliance, the Spectres and the public sphere, smack bang in the middle of the memorial gala held in her honour.

Shepard had refused to tell people what her retirement plans were, save for the surviving members of the Normandy crew, and the newly appointed Councillor Hackett.

Though as usually, Garrus was right behind her. He'd retired from his own promotions, including turning down his life long dream of being a Spectre.

Shepard had tried to protest, but her boyfriend had given her a look that said 'are you crazy?', and she was forced to drop the subject... Not long after, Garrus had proposed, slipping in the suggestion of retiring to somewhere tropical, with a horde of children in tow.

So that was how Shepard found herself standing in her large kitchen on Virmire, pulling out two freshly baked loaves of bread; one levo and one dextro, with a drell baby perched on her hip, and a turian son clinging to her synthetic leg.

A human daughter was sat at the kitchen counter doing her homework, whilst three krogan children rough housed in the back garden. In one of the other rooms of their home, most likely the lounge, a quarian teenager was probably beating a young salarian boy at Galaxy of Fantasy.

As Shepard set the loaves next to the other three levo ones that already sat on the counter, Urz barrelled through the door, yapping happily.

Garrus followed close behind, nuzzling the top of their daughter's head as he passed, before scooping up their turian son. The baby perched on her hip gurgled happily, as Garrus stroked a talon lightly over their scaled face, and Shepard couldn't stop her happy smile from spreading into a full blown grin, when her husband nuzzled her cheek in greeting.

Never in her wildest dreams had she thought this was how her life would turn out. First a gang member, than an Alliance Marine, a weapon more than a person, made to fight and kill. Yet here she was, athletic frame going a little soft, with a loving husband and veritable hoard of children... the very picture of domestic bliss.

She even cooked and baked, though the fact that she was rather good at it, had come as some surprise to everyone, including herself.

“You know, I'm thinking of starting a business,” Shepard said, slowly.

Garrus stopped twirling their second youngest around, and cocked his head to the side. His icy eyes studied her intently, though his mandible flickered in amusement.

Picking up on his father's mood, the young turian in Garrus' arms tried to emulate the look, and Shepard was hard pressed not to burst out laughing. Tarquin was always trying to copy his father, though as Garrus' loved to point out, little Ashley strived to be like Shepard... so she couldn't say much.

Baby Thane gurgled excitedly in her arms, as the krogan trio of David, Jimmy and Jeff crashed into the kitchen. At the same time, young Mordin along with Kal'Zora, strolled calmly into the room.

Shepard couldn't help but roll her eyes at the impromptu family meeting, and she tried to stop from smirking at her husband.

“Since there's some other families settling further up the beach, I was thinking of opening a little bakery,” she explained.

There was a clamour of excited squeals and roars at the news. Everyone trying to speak over everyone else, as usual. The Shepard-Vakarian residence was certainly not a quiet one.

“And here I was, just thinking we should see if Liara knew of any young asari that needed adopting,” Garrus drawled, barely audible over the din.


End file.
